Back in October 2018, I did a post of my predictions for the future of ventriloquism.
It got some attention and I got a lot of emails about it.
Since it seemed to be a popular post here, I felt maybe it was time to gaze into the glass doorknob once again.
Here are:
More Predictions For The Future Of Ventriloquism
I predict in about two years, Vent Haven Museum will unveil a popular new exhibit featuring The Dale Brown. It will feature Chip Martin being held by Dale’s body.
Dale won’t be dead, but no one will notice he is still alive for another two to three years.
I predict in 3016, Mark Wade will announce he is resuming his duties as the executive director of the Vent Haven International ConVENTion.
After stepping down in 3015, he realized he would miss the event. The museum board of directors were unavailable for comment. They were busy going door to door for their construction fund.
I predict that in early 2019, the Internet will be declared a fad. People will actually resume going out and talking to one another.
As a result, no one will ever read this blog article.
I predict that in the year 2045, Jeff Dunham’s boys will have him committed to a nursing home/mental ward because they refuse to wipe his butt.
Although the image in the glass doorknob is fuzzy, I believe the next famous ventriloquist will be you. The only person who read this article after the Internet bust in 2019.
Your star will eclipse Edgar Bergen, Terry Fator, and Jeff Dunham. Your wealth will exceed Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and some street guy named William who is actually Howard Hughes in disguise.
Oh wait, I’m sorry – that is wrong. It was just a bit of adhesive from the price tag.
I predict the next breakthrough ventriloquist figure will be named Garth.
I predict at the 2019 Vent Haven ConVENTion there will be a lot of puppets named Garth.
I also predict people will tell me the name of their puppet as I stare blankly at them because I forgot about this article.
I predict Bob will leave Jay Johnson in pursuit of a new career. He will change his name to Garth.
In 2032, I predict it will be revealed that selling ventriloquism courses and supplies is a $32 billion a year business. Ventriloquism courses take up about $97 of that and the rest is distributed amongst puppet & figure makers.
Because of this revelation, Campbell’s Soups will enter the market. The Campbell’s Soup kids will host a ventriloquism course, a podcast, a television show, and change their names to Garth.
Well, I’m getting kicked out of Home Depot again, so until the next time …
